One week isn't enough. The case for staying in Parent Step 2 a little longer.
The first appointment with parents after teaching Parent Step 2, strategic labeled praise, is one of my favorite meetings. It often gives me a window into what the next few months may be like with the family.
What do they remember from our last appointment? Did they try the strategies with their child? Do they show up with notes? Did they carve out time throughout the week to focus on which praises to use? If two parents are in the home, are they both invested? All of it clues me into what's going on.
So check in with yourself. Where are you right now? Did you make time to practice? Did you take notes or remember what you did? How are you feeling? Any progress in your child or your family's dynamic?
Approximately 60% of families I work with report some improvement in their child's behavior, mood, or family dynamics within 1–2 weeks of beginning Parent Step 2. Maybe you're one of them. The remaining 40% take a little longer.
If you do not notice any improvement in 3 weeks of using strategic labeled praise, then something is not right. I'm not talking about perfect behavior, I wouldn't expect that. But if you don't notice any positive shift, even a small one, we need to pause and figure it out. Maybe the frequency isn't there. Maybe the tone or other dynamics are getting in the way. If your child's behavior is severe, it can be genuinely hard to find those small moments to attend to. If this is you, you may benefit from one-on-one support with a therapist or psychologist. It's also possible you just need to add Steps 3 and 4 before more noticeable shifts occur.
If you have noticed improvement, even small ones, I want you to reflect on what specifically you've noticed. Is it your child's mood? Fewer battles? More frequent smiling? Are they completing tasks quicker? Letting go more easily? The details matter, because they tell you exactly what to keep praising.
The key to the Parent Steps is that we aren't moving on to the next step until you feel confident in the one you're on. So we're going to sit in Step 2 for another week before we add something new. Remember, from now on we are always using strategic labeled praise. Once we move on, it adds additional things for you to focus on, so you want to get good at each step first, so it's easier to learn the next.
If you've noticed improvement this week, it's time to focus on shaping again. I assigned you to praise your child after calming down at the end of every meltdown, no matter how long it took. If you've noticed they're calming down faster than usual, shift to "Great job calming down so quickly!" Say this over and over for the next week, and you should start to see additional moments when they stay calm overall. Then shift again: "Great job staying so calm."
If you feel you need to lock in a bit more this week, great, I love that you noticed that. Things to praise are everywhere: patience, communication, effort, humor, creativity, or a warm statement about spending time together. As simple as putting a fork on the table instead of throwing it on the floor.
Have a great week. Next Sunday: Parent Step 3, ten minutes that can change everything.
— Dr. Emily
These articles teach the framework. The program applies it to your specific family, with 1-on-1 sessions with Dr. Emily.